Little Drummer Boy

Since I posted last week, about my favorite Christmas song, my Teddy Bear has been talking about Christmas music. Actually, we've been talking a lot about Christmas traditions. My parents never had many. But I want it to be different for my Baby Girl.

Anyways, my Teddy Bear wanted to share his favorite Christmas song with all of you. The Little Drummer Boy. I would have never thought. But it is a really good song. Hope you enjoy it! Merry Christmas Eve!

Joy to the World

I was thinking today, one of my favorite Christmas songs is, Joy to the World. Hasn't always been. But in the last few years, this song, really has a new meaning for me. People are right, when they say, life changes when you become a parent. You see the world differently. Especially the holidays. And I'm so grateful!

Santa...Read Here!

I should start this post by saying, I'm not the most stylish woman. I lean heavily, on my friends. To you know, show me the ropes. I'm not kidding! After my separation, my friends took me to NYC. For a makeover, and shopping. Because, I had no style!

That doesn't mean, that I want to look frumpy. I like dressing up. I like feeling put together. And feeling like a woman. I just need help! But I do look at lots of magazines, I read many fashion blogs, and seek help from friends.

To be 100% honest though, the last year, I've lived in sweats. Sometimes leggings. And even days and days of PJs. I'm not proud. But I'm honest! Most of all, I like to be comfy. My clothes need to function. I have a sick baby. And a broken body of my own. That means, complicated clothes, don't fit into my lifestyle. Just plain and simple.

My Bestie has this great style. She is so cool and comfy. All the time! She has this ladylike look when she works. Most stylish doctor I know! Then she has these fun and funky clothes, when she performs. You should hear her sing! So I ask her a lot of questions. ;) A while back, my Bestie blogged about this cape. Love it!

Looks sorta like a jacket. Totally comfy. Just my style! Um, Santa if you are reading this...I want this for Christmas. And I swear, I've been a good girl! :) This cape, would totally dress up my usual outfit. And I might just try a little harder, to put on a pair of jeans...a few times a week!

Trust in Him

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.” Psalms 28:7


I'm home. Thank God! Last Monday, I went into the hospital, for surgery on my arm and shoulder. It was postponed until Tuesday. And I've spent the last few days, recovering. I'm still in a lot of pain. But thankful that God, has pulled me through this. Late this afternoon, I came home. I'm so glad!

If you noticed, I had scheduled some posts, while I was away. My Brother helped me with Friday Fill-Ins. And well, I think it went well. I still have posts scheduled for this week. I'm hoping by Friday, I'll be feeling better. Enough to blog. Because this is painful. I'm typing with my left hand. And this little post, this far, has taken about an hour to type up!

I'm very thankful to some amazing people. My Teddy Bear. Who never left my side. Has taken care of my precious Baby Girl. Loved us to pieces. His family...they're priceless! My Brother B. For just being truly amazing! Best little brother that anyone could ask for. My Bestie, she's just great! Praying for me. Calling every day, to just check on me. This guy, who has a HUGE heart! Bestie are you listening? ;) And my amazing friend and her family. Thanks guys! So many other friends were amazing and supportive. Thank you guys. I know, that our health is improving, just because we have you! Praying for us, loving us, and supporting us. Thank you!

This is my cue, to get some rest. My precious Baby Girl is sleeping. The house is quiet. And my dog, W is nudging me to lay down. I'm going to follow W's lead. Time for me, to get some sleep! I hope you are all having a good week. :)

I Choose to Love You!

Pretty much sums up how I feel about my Baby Girl and my Teddy Bear. Over the last 2 years, I've come to realize what's most important in the world. Love. Family. Honesty. Respect. Faith.

Family is not always the ones we were born into. Nor the ones we marry into. But the ones we create along the way. The people that want to be in your life. For the good and the bad. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. I'd go through all that pain, hurt, and sorrow. Just to be able, to get to this good point.

It's all be well worth it! To know, I would get these 2 perfect people in my life. I do it the same. I'd choice the same. And I'd love even more!

Friday Fill Ins: The Shack

Hey everyone! This is Brother B. This week, I'm going to be helping out my sister, with her post. She is doing much better. Resting. Still on lots of meds for pain. This guy and my niece are taking a nap. My sister keeps giving me "the eye." I guess we should get started. I'm just going to type what she tells me to.

I hear it's Friday. Most of this week, has been a real blur! I'm 3 days post-op. But honestly, I'm ready to go home! Unfortunately, the doctors don't agree. I should get out Monday or Tuesday. :) (She's dreaming now.) Until then, my Brother B and I, are going to try and get this week's Friday Fill-Ins done.

1. As I neared the operation, I got more nervous.

2. The Shack is what I'm reading right now. It's interesting.

3. I didn't start out this way, but life is always changing.

4. I'm so happy, to tell the truth.

5. The best way to live, is by making yourself and others happy.

6. This is the reason I am so happy!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to resting, tomorrow my plans include resting and Sunday, I want to go home! (I filled in those 1st 2. My sister fell asleep. Personally, I think my sister will be here until Monday. Don't tell her! She wants to go home on Sunday.)

Lisa Leonard and Christmas

I'm honestly in LOVE with everything Lisa Leonard. I can't lie! If I had the money, I'd order one of everything. EVERYTHING! I've never been like this before. But there is something about Lisa's designs. And this whole being a mommy thing, has turned me into a very sentimental woman.

So it should not shock anyone, I stopped when I saw this ornament. Really? She makes ornaments? Oh Teddy Bear, can we have a Lisa Leonard Christmas tree??? PLEASE!!!

But really, I wouldn't be disappointed to get one of these beauties. You know, as a Christmas present. So precious! Off to drool at more of Lisa's designs...

Please Pray

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21

Today, I'm going in for surgery. On my right shoulder and arm. Something that was supposed to happen, nearly a year ago. At the time, I didn't want to leave my Baby Girl. So I've dealt with the pain. So much pain!

This morning, I hope the doctors are able to repair everything. One shot. I don't want to be under the weather long. My Baby Girl needs me. I'm trying to be strong. But I am scared. Please, say an extra prayer for me today. I could definitely use it.

Hey There, It's Yogi Bear!

Recently, My Teddy Bear and my Baby Girl, spend their morning watching cartoons. Old cartoons to be more specific. I love hearing their laughter. I'm usually tumbling out of bed. Looking for a slipper. Trying to get my eyes open. Wondering if the sun is really up. I'm not a morning person!

Then I look into the living room, and I find my 2 loves, snuggled up. Watching cartoons. Laughing. Enjoying some silly storyline. And my heart feels like it's going to burst, with love!

Lately, the favorite at 5AM, seems to Yogi Bear. Do you remember Yogi? I remember watching Yogi with my Bestie! Early morning TV. Whenever we had sleepovers. So glad my Baby Girl gets to enjoy it too!

Friday Fill Ins: Twinkling Lights

Friday, Friday! I thought you'd never get here! Honestly, this has sorta been a long week. For a lot of reasons. Mostly, me stressing in my head. I'm sure you know what that's all about. Don't get me wrong. It's been a good week too. My Baby Girl and I, have spent so many hours, cuddling and watching our Christmas lights. Yes, we've spent a lot of time, just being Mommy and Little Monkey. :) I've enjoyed every second of it! I better get to my Friday Fill-Ins. 'Cause I want to spend lots of time today, cuddling my sweet Baby Girl.

1. One of my favorite things about December is the twinkling lights and the smell of fresh pine.

2. We got new and personalized ornament(s)!

3. This is what I'm hoping for today/tonight: is a relaxing, fun, and blessed day.

4. What's that noise?

5. Ooh, a sale. :)

6. The phone is ringing!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to watching this guy celebrate a great year, tomorrow my plans include lots of online Christmas shopping and Sunday, I want to hangout with my Baby Girl, my Brother B, W, and my Teddy Bear!

Makes Me Want to Be an Angel

Earlier this week, I watched the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. I should start off with, I've never been a lingerie kind of woman. Never! I've never been comfortable in my body. I think that's most of my problem. But for some reason, this year, watching this show, I want to go buy lingerie. Well, maybe not lingerie. But fun bras and undies. Sorta makes me want to be an angel...

Our Turkey Day

First of all, I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. This Thanksgiving, had to be the best one I've ever had. No exaggerations! As a kid, holidays were always horrible. It was pathetic. For years, my grandma tried, to make the holidays special for us. But I know that it was hard for her.

My parents always fought. ALWAYS! My mom couldn't cook. There was so much tension. I used to HATE being off of school. As we got older, my mom remarried. Things got worse. My brother and I were tossed aside. I tried to do things. So my brother wouldn't realize what was going on. It was tough.

But this year, it was different. SO DIFFERENT! After spending last year, in the hospital, I was looking forward to a good day. My Teddy Bear and I, wanted to make it special. A new beginning. Start traditions for my Baby Girl. And we did!

My Teddy Bear's family came over. And honestly, did 98% of the cooking. We all sat and talked. Helped each other. I learned how to really cut an onion. We baked pies. Not the ones from the frozen food case either. Real pies!

There was music. Lots of jokes. Plenty of family time. Watching the parade. Can you believe it? I had NEVER seen the Macy's Thanksgiving parade. NEVER! We watched football. The guys went out and played football. We said prayers. Told everyone what we were thankful for. Spent 3 hours sitting at the table. Eating! 3 HOURS!!! It was so much fun! And look at this outfit.

My Baby Girl was dressed up like a turkey! She looked adorable. Was so cuddly and warm. The perfect Thanksgiving outfit.

We couldn't stop there. W got into the holiday spirit too! Like his outfit? He didn't mind it. But then again, he's pretty chill.

We played games and ate, well into the night. Friends came over. Blue Eyes stopped in, just to spoil my Baby Girl. Our day started at 5AM. And we played games, talked, and ate pumpkin pie until 2AM! It was so much more than I could have ever asked for. A day full of the people I love. The only person missing was my Bestie.

I want my Baby Girl to have memories like this. Happy memories. Days filled with love. Happiness. Making new traditions. Talking about our blessings. Eating more food in 3 hours, than we usually eat in a week!

At the end of the night, 5 things stood out.
1. My Brother B was so happy. He actually told me, "This is what it feels like, to be part of a family. It's incredible! Thanks Hills!"
2. My heart had so much love for my Baby Girl. Today, I really felt like a mommy. Making memories for my Baby Girl.
3. I'm 100% positive, I've never seen my Teddy Bear this happy. He told me, "This is just our beginning. We're going to have a 1000 more." You know what, I believe him. With all of my heart!
4. My Teddy Bear's mom and sister, pulled me aside. To thank me. For making this guy so happy. They can tell, we've become a family. :) 
5. I've never felt so much love in my life. Ever! My Bestie called. She made me cry. Just by telling me what I meant to her.

We had so many people come over. Fill our home with love. I know, that not every year is going to be like this. I know this. I've lived lots of those horrible years. But I want so much better for my daughter. Heck, for myself. And my brother. We deserve to be loved. To enjoy life. I'm telling you, this man is changing our lives. In so many ways. This year, I'm so thankful for the people in my life. For their love. And for my life.

Winter White

Over the weekend, we started decorating for the holidays. Everything looks so beautiful! My Baby Girl and I spent many hours today, watching the twinkling lights. :) It's so nice to watch the miracle of the holiday, through my daughter's eyes.

I'm still looking for some specific details. I want to buy some little lambs. A few vases, to fill with ornaments. I've seen those all over the internet! They are so perfect. I'm still searching for our stockings. And a wreath. Actually 2 wreaths. For our front door.

That's when I found this wreath. Darn google! The page is expired. Had I found it, I would have ordered 2. Immediately! But I didn't. So I called my Bestie. Who told me, these are super easy to make. She gave me a list of supplies, that I need. And explained to me, in plenty of detail, how to make this wreath.

You see, I'm in love with this color palette. It reminds me of "Winter White." And matches the decorations in our living room. The first "real room," when you enter the front doors. I really want this wreath. But I'm not too crafty. Actually, I was more crafty, when I was 6 years old! But I'm going to try. And well, if I doesn't turn out right, I might just pay my Bestie to make me 2! :)

Friday Fill Ins: The Art of Cooking

Happy Black Friday! I've only shopped once, on a Black Friday. With my ex-husband. It was a fun experience. But definitely crazy. This year, I'm snug at home. Watching my Baby Girl sleep. And smelling some pretty yummy food. This guy's mom, is making breakfast. I haven't physically been to a store, in close to 14 months! Today was not the day to start. I think I'm going to stick to online shopping. At least for a few more weeks.

But I did want to get my Friday Fill-Ins done. There are no new ones, for the week. But my Bestie had a great idea, to do one from the past. This week, I'll be doing this FFI from last year. Now let's get these Friday Fill-Ins started. Cause I'm ready for breakfast. :)

1. Three things I must have on my Thanksgiving table: turkey, pumpkin pie, and mashed potatoes.

2. W is always sacked out on the couch.

3. This is a blessed life.

4. I want to decorate our house for Christmas.

5. Oh, man, thankfully it's Friday.

6. How do you perfect the art of cooking.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to movie night with the family, tomorrow my plans include decorating our Christmas tree and Sunday, I want to put up our Nativity and Advent Wreath!

Happy Turkey Day!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! What a beautiful holiday this is. I'm looking forward to a day full of family and friends. Don't forget the food! The last 2 Thanksgivings, haven't been too great. So I've really been looking forward to this day.

We have so much to celebrate this year! I don't even know where to begin. But I know this, God is great! He has helped My Baby Girl and I, to heal. He's brought us back my Brother B. And sent us Our Teddy Bear. And his amazing family.

Today, is going to be amazing. Just because, we're going to be surrounded by loved ones. My Teddy Bear's family is here. His mom is cooking. I'm hoping to learn something. :) We'll also be celebrating this guy's accomplishments. And playing lots of games. You should see the pile of games sitting in the living room.

Yes, it's going to be a good day. I'm so happy! I know that we're blessed. And I hope all of you, have an  amazing Thanksgiving!

Soul Mates and Love

I've never been a big believer in Love. Or soul mates. My parents had a horrible and violent relationship. They divorced when I was in elementary school. My grandparents also divorced when I was young. I just figured, love wasn't a real thing. It was something that only happened in Fairy Tales.

I dated in high school. And as a young adult. But things always seemed doomed. I put everything in, but got nothing out. I seemed to find all the wrong guys. The ones that never wanted to put anything in. Just take from you. Pieces of my soul, just kept being taken. Leaving me empty.

Then I met my ex-husband. He gave me hope. He made me believe in love. Was my prince. Showed me that life could be fun, happy, and full of love. I believed him. I believed in us. And a "Happily Ever After." I knew things weren't ALWAYS going to be perfect. So did he. We both came from these horribly broken families. Hopeless really. But we believed in each other.

We married. We dreamed. Dreamt of big things. HUGE things! A life together. Full of Love. Something that neither of us had before. We believed in each other, until we didn't. Life got HORRIBLE! Real quick. And my faith in love, vanished. COMPLETELY!!!

Then he came into my life. He'd been an acquaintance before. Someone that I'd known because of my ex-husband. And his friends. I didn't know much about him. Other than when I saw him at work. Or hanging out with this guy. I just didn't know him. But for a very long time, he always seemed like, he had something to tell me. But he didn't know what to say.

When my ex-husband and I originally decided to separate, we were doing it, to work on the problems in our marriage. I know it sounds odd. But we had a plan. It just didn't work out. He didn't want this life that we had built together. And I was on my own. Pregnant, and on my own...

But that old friend, he came knocking. Literally, knocking on my door. He had heard, that I was in a bit of trouble. Probably from this guy. And he was my shoulder to cry on. The one person, that I could totally depend on. During my entire pregnancy, this man, was right by my side. Every Monday, he'd drive over 3 hours, so we could have dinner. And just hangout. People, he even watched DWTS with me. Every week!

My ex-husband was denying me. Denying our Baby Girl. It was horrible! But I had this guy to lean on. He helped me, get my Baby Girl's nursery in order. We went to birthing classes together. With another friend. Because we needed to have a plan. Weekly, my daughter got presents. My dog enjoyed lots of treats.

Then when we had our accident, this man, flew to be at our side. When he couldn't be there, he had his mom or sister, to be there for him. Never have I had to be alone. When we realized how serious my Baby Girl's health was, he was strong enough, for both of us. He talked with my Bestie, and they found us the best care. He picked up my finances for me. I haven't had to worry about a thing!

Most of all, I haven't had to be alone. He's been at my side. He's made me believe in the impossible. My Teddy Bear has been amazing. He's been a true Daddy to my daughter. He found my Brother B. He's taken care of all of us. Made us laugh. Comforted me when I've needed it the most. Been my best friend. Loved my daughter.

And when it was time for us all to go home, he made it possible. Not only did he get us home. He took us to HIS HOME!!! Made all 3 of us, and my dog, feel right at home. He's done everything in his power, to make us comfortable. And loved.

When I first met this guy, I knew he was different. Maybe it was that sly smile. It could have been his eyes. His laugh is also so full and genuine. There's just something about him, that makes me feel at ease. Safe. Loved. Comfortable. Happy.

There are few people, that really get me. The silly blond. The one that forgets everything. Laughs at stupid jokes. Forgets the punchline to jokes. Drinks banana milk. Has "thunder thighs." Loves with everything I've got. Laughs harder than anyone you know.

Yes, even back then, I knew he was special. I just didn't realize how special he was. Now I know. I've always been a cynical about love. Soul mates? I never believed in them. Not with my whole heart. Until now. I know that I'm loved. My daughter is loved. My brother is loved. I know that this man, is such a good guy! He makes me believe in me. And without trying, he's made me believe in soul mates. Yes, he has!

Friday Fill Ins: Shoes

First off, Happy Birthday B! My friends' daughter is celebrating her 1st birthday today. I wish that my Baby Girl and I cold be there, to help them celebrate. Next year! We'll be there next year. But on a brighter note, we're home. And it feels great! This week, has been a dream. The weather got a little crazy midweek. All of the tornadoes scared me to death. But we were safe and sound. Thank goodness! Before I get too mooshy here, I better get started on my Friday Fill-Ins. :)

1. As you can see I'm very happy right now.

2. This guy will be home soon!

3. I love to buy SHOES. (It doesn't matter if you have gained a few pounds, cute shoes always work!)

4. I LOVE to buy and give gift(s).

5. What's up with this crazy weather.

6. I like to tap my fingertips.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to a quiet night at home, tomorrow my plans include planning for Thanksgiving and Sunday, I want to cheer on this guy, and enjoy my time with my friend!

Romeo and Juliet

Do you remember the movie, "Romeo and Juliet?" I think I was in middle school when it came out. And I wasn't allowed to watch it. But when I got into high school, I watched it. I was hanging out with some friends. And we decided to watch it.

Every since, I've really liked this movie. I bought the soundtrack. But could never find the movie. The other night, it came out on TV. And I convinced this guy to watch it with me. He'd never seen it. Now it's one of our favorites!

Friday Fill Ins: Banana Cream Pie

I've been walking on Cloud 9 all week! We get to go home in 3 days! Yes, 3 days! It will be the first time that my Baby Girl will be out of the hospital. Yes, it's crazy! But we're so excited. For now, we're going to be living with our Teddy Bear. Because I'm going to need some help. I'm scheduled for a surgery in mid December. But we're not going to think about that right now. No! Right now, we're going to enjoy going home. :) I better get going with my Friday Fill-Ins.

1. Turkey is so yummy on Thanksgiving.

2. My favorite pie is Banana Cream pie.

3. On and on and on we go where we'll stop, no one knows.

4. The last time I saw my grandma, I didn't realize it would be our last time together. (I'm still sad about that.)

5. Can you believe that we go home in 3 days. (I'm so excited!)

6. I need a vacation. (Or at least a break from "real life.")

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to watching Romeo and Juliet, tomorrow my plans include lots of cuddling with my Baby Girl and Sunday, I want to watch my Teddy Bear win!

Friday Fill Ins: Thanksgiving Food

In so many ways, this week has both flown by, and not gone fast enough. I'm super excited, that we're finally going to go home. Isn't that great? Just over a week, and we'll be home. That sounds like Heaven to me! Before I go on and on, I better get to this week's Friday Fill-Ins.

1. In November, I most look forward to the yummy Thanksgiving food.

2. We're finally going home...phew!

3. It's right there, in the cabinet.

4. I'm finally getting a peace of mind.

5. Water is something that I can't live without.

6. Never worry about changing the other person, only worry about you and your actions, is what my grandmother used to say!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to relaxing with my new book, tomorrow my plans include lunch with my Brother B and Sunday, I want to watch my Teddy Bear at work!

Friday Fill-Ins: Meatloaf and Mashed Potatoes

Can you believe that it's already Friday again? You know what that means. Friday Fill-Ins.

1. Beware of men who seem too good, and don't have any flaws. (All people have flaws. It's not a bad thing.)

2. I like snow.

3. And since we met, I always knew, he was a great guy.

4. Are there creepy spirits?

5. Where the Wild Things Are.

6. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes is one of my favorite meals when it's cold out.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to movie night with my brother B, tomorrow my plans include lots of reading to my Baby Girl and Sunday, I want to watch my Teddy Bear win!

Halloween Fun

It's that time of year. Halloween! I'm so excited. It's the first, "real" Halloween, for my Baby Girl. Last year, neither one of us, was in any sort of shape, to celebrate. We had costumes, but they were the last things I thought of.

This year, is very different. Our big 'ol Teddy Bear, went out and bought a few costumes for my Baby Girl. Now we're having a tough time, deciding what to dress my Baby Girl as.

How about a Cupcake? That little icing hat is just too cute! How about the little skirt? So adorable! I wonder who comes up with these ideas.....

Maybe a Princess. Cinderella is always a favorite! This would be absolutely precious. Every little girl's dream. Right?

How about something more traditional? A witch. This costume is absolutely adorable! I love all the little details.

This cute ladybug just makes me smile! The fabric is so fun! I just want to pet this costume. And a ladybug. Honestly. This is going to have to be the theme to my Baby Girl's 2nd birthday. :)

A butterfly. Can it get any cuter? Everything about this costume makes me smile. The wings, the little feet, and the antennas!

This Lovebug just makes my heart melt! And it's super soft. I just love all the little hearts. This is definitely one of my favorites.

Another one of my favorites. Love this flower! The little ruffles are precious! So is that little bee. And this costume looks to be pretty comfy. The head part, well it will fit over my Baby Girl's helmet. Always a good thing. :)

And a cute chickie! With eggshells. My Brother B just loves this costume. I think it has something to do with those silly chicken legs and eggshells. :)

This furry little lamb is just adorable. The fabrics are so fun. Have I mentioned, I'm loving this little lamb! There's just something about this costume.

Or how about a cute bunny? So cuddly and fun. The little face is almost too cute for words. And those big feet, oh it just makes me smile!

Maybe a precious Teddy Bear. The nurses are loving this one. There's something about the tie and the little blanket.

My Teddy Bear's favorite. A little Monkey. That's what he calls my Baby Girl, his "Little Monkey." He's really passionate, that this should be my Baby Girl's costume.

Then we come to the costumes we bought last year. My Teddy Bear bought this adorable Care Bear. Isn't it the cutest? "His Little Sunshine Bear." Another cute nickname, that he calls my Baby Girl.

How about this adorable Glow Worm? My personal favorite. I bought it last August. It's always been my favorite. The costume that I had envisioned, my then 3 week old, Baby Girl wearing. And, this year, my Baby Girl will wear this cute costume. It's warm and comfy. Cute and colorful. And will fit over all her hospital monitors, and helmet.

And all but the last 3 costumes, we're donating, to other kids in the hospital. I feel really passionate about that. My Teddy Bear can afford to spend money like this. I can't. And I know what it's like, to have to save your pennies. I know that these parents already sacrifice so much! So much time, and money. The last thing they need to worry about, is coming up with money, for a Halloween costume.

I just want to help them, in anyway that I can. This year, we're able to make a few kids happy. I know that my Baby Girl and I are happy, and well taken care of. I just want more of these families, to feel the same. It may just be a Halloween costume. But I know, when you are in this position, every little bit helps. And the bottom line is, we want the kids to be happy and healthy. We're all doing our part, to make that happen.

Friday Fill-Ins: The People I Love the Most

Yes, it's time for this week's Friday Fill-Ins. I almost forgot. I was thinking today is Thursday. Where did I lose a day?

1. Old me would cry, beat myself up, and just take everyone putting me down; new me would fight back, stand up for what I believe in, and love and protect my Baby Girl.

2. My ex-husband couldn't do it, but my Teddy Bear is taking responsibility.

3. So...in a way life is better now, than if we had stayed together.

4. Is this right?

5. The big difference in my life, is my amazing Baby Girl.

6. Spending time with my Baby Girl, my Brother B, my Teddy Bear, and my dog W makes me happy.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to dinner with my brother B, tomorrow my plans include lots of time with my Baby Girl and Sunday, I want to enjoy the day with the people I love the most!

One Day

One day, I'd LOVE a room, just like this. Full of beautiful windows. With lots of plants and trees, surrounding the outside. Something fresh, full of nature, and bright. A place to just relax in. A room that doesn't need a TV or radio. Just a place to explore with my Baby Girl.

And these colors. Oh, I LOVE these colors! I would have never thought, about mixing all these beautiful colors. But they look amazing together! I like how fun this room feels. I could just imagine spending afternoons in this room, reading. My Baby Girl napping. Or exploring and watching nature outside. I'm dreaming of a room just like this!

Cute Ladybugs

I could use some help. Last year, I seen these cute Halloween buckets. I always planned on going back to buy one. But with our accident, it just didn't happen. And I've regretted it!

This year, I went online, searching again. But I can't find them anywhere! I know that they were sold at Toys R Us. But they haven't been online this year. I also haven't been able to get to the store. Has anyone seen these cute buckets? Anywhere? I'd really appreciate the help. I actually want to use these ladybugs to decorate with. I've got some good plans.....

Friday Fill-Ins: Someone to Love Us

I'm so excited that it's Friday! Time for Friday Fill-Ins.

1. It's easy to love my Baby Girl.

2. I've found my darling.

3. Once upon a time, I thought there was no good left in life.

4. We're happy, we've found someone to love us, life is headed in the right direction...the end.

5. What is going to happen next.

6. I'd rather do things sooner than later.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to a relaxing night of reading, tomorrow my plans include a chat with m Teddy Bear and Sunday, I want to have some laughs with my Brother B!

Could I Make This?

It looks like we're going to go home, sometime before New Year's! That makes me so excited! One, my daughter is getting stronger and healthier. Every day! Two, we get to go home. I haven't been home in nearly a year! The idea of going home, just gets me all excited!

I was thinking about all the things, that need to get done. All before we go home. I need to have our house cleaned. I also need to get a few pieces of furniture. And I'm sure, some medical equipment. I have this long list of things, that needs to get done. But all I can thing about, is this wreath!

Isn't it just so pretty? It's my favorite color, blue! It's simple. But fun. Oh, I want this wreath! Do you think I can make it? I'm not a "Crafty Bug," like my Bestie. But this doesn't look too tough to make.What do yo think? A wreath, some yarn, and a little fabric. Looks like felt? Cut into ovals or circles. I think I will be able to make this. :)

One of the main reasons, I want a pretty wreath is, in the South, everyone has wreaths! I've lived in the South for almost 14 years. There is something about all these little details. I'm learning them, as time goes by. Slowly. But I'm learning. If I get good at this, maybe I can figure out a wreath for every month. If not,I'll start buying wreaths, slowly. I could collect 12 in a few years. :)

She Loves Abby!

Over the last week or 2, we've noticed something so sweet! My Brother B first realized it. When my Baby Girl hears Abby Cadabby, she lights up! Her little feet kick like crazy. Her arms swing, and her hands go to grab. My Baby Girl smiles, makes all these sweet baby sounds, and tries to find Abby.

We've all enjoyed watching this. My Teddy Bear, immediately ran out and bought all sorts of DVDs with Abby. And the cutest stuffed Abby. My daughter loves all of them. Our morning routine, definitely includes lots of Sesame Street. And well, we're all enjoying this so much!



Who would have thought? But it's been so fun. Just to watch my Baby Girl get so excited. She really loves Abby. I'm glad that she's finally enjoying life. And whatever it takes, to make her happy, I'm going to do!

Friday Fill-Ins: Summer Fun

Friday where have you been? I'm glad it's finally Friday! That means, it's almost Sunday. When I get to see this guy again. First, I need to get my Friday Fill-Ins done. :)

1. How can I not ask questions about my life.

2. I'm so HAPPY at the moment.

3. That summer, we had so much fun, and didn't realize how good our lives were.

4. My ex-husband didn't want to be a part of our family and we respected that.

5. What was I thinking.

6. My Bestie and I HAVE TO stay in touch.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to some online shopping, tomorrow my plans include lots of birthday planning and Sunday, I want to enjoy my family!

Sweet November

I'd never seen this movie. But my Teddy Bear brought it with him, the other day. He thought I'd love it. And I did! I really enjoyed this movie. Even though, I cried like a baby, at the end. The end is super sad. But the movie, it's such a good movie.

If you're anything like me, you like to curl up with a good movie, on a weekend night. This is perfect! I'm kind of curious now. I wonder if there is a book. I think it would be so good! You know, the books are always so much better. But the movie really is amazing!

GumDrops Save the Day!

Way back when, I called my Bestie. I wanted to pick at her brain. I wanted to know everything that she knew. Every single thing about babies. She works in the PICU/NICU at a hospital. My Bestie is also all about nutrition, and teaches about breastfeeding. So I called. A lot!!! Poor my friend. I probably called 20 times a  day. For my entire pregnancy! But my Bestie was so sweet to me. She helped me pick the best cloth diapers, nursery essentials, and breast pump.

I researched everything like a nut! I was a single mommy-to-be. Pregnant, alone, and scared. My Bestie lives across the country from me. I'd just moved 2 1/2 hours away, from everyone that I knew. And money was tight. But I wanted the best, that I could provide, for my daughter.

I was determined to breastfeed. I researched and researched. I needed some bottles. Because after 6 weeks, I'd have to go back to work. My Baby Girl would be in Daycare. Just down the road, from where I was working. My Bestie told me about some awesome bottles. And she gave me a few packs of GumDrops.

This would change everything! These pacifiers were supposed to be good for breastfeeding babies. A design that wouldn't confuse a baby. I ordered a few more things. Then this Guy, showed up with enough supplies, to last a few years! No lie!

GumDrops have definitely been lifesavers for us. When my Baby Girl had to learn how to suckle, GumDrops were the key. She LOVES GumDrops! They've helped in so many ways. And I've suggested them, for my friends' babies too. Lots of them have babies, a little older than my daughter. Right now, they're using them to chew on. Because they're teething. I'm telling you GumDrops are straight from heaven! If you have a baby, I'd definitely recommend these pacifiers. There are so many fun colors, and flavors. :)

De Colores

Let's start of with a little background info. I was born and raised, until I was 15, in the southwest. There were only 2 blond kids in my entire elementary school! I was one of them. The other was popular. Greg's grandma was a volunteer at our school. He was golden because of this. I on the other hand, was a total outcast. My only friend, was this gal. I was cool with that. She has been an amazing friend to me. I can't even begin to tell you, just how much she means to me.

At our school, we always did fun class performances. Things like Spanish Dancing, or singing Spanish Music. It was always a lot of fun. Our teachers would put up these props and houses. We'd practice for weeks. Then we'd put on our show. Most of the time at our school. But also at the local high school, or the Mall!

When I was 6 or 7, we were having a Holiday Show. I practiced hard. Learned all the music. Which was hard. It was all in Spanish. But my grandparents helped me. I begged my mom for a new dress. I wasn't asking for much. Something that she could make me. I didn't care. I just wanted something new. Everyone else was getting something new. Not me.

I wore black tights with this ugly, long pink sweater. It had a dog on the front. And had a hole on the side. My mom did manage to get me this embarrassingly huge bow for my hair. It was the 80s. There we were. Me and all my classmates. Everyone in new Christmas clothes. Me in my pink sweater. I was so nervous. We walked up the stage. We started singing. My favorite song, De Colores.



And I accidentally pushed over the "Hacienda." I had 3 teachers screaming at me. But I kept singing. With my "white accent" and all. As loud as I could. I'm pretty sure, everyone else had stopped singing. What could I do? I'll never forget that day. My mom wouldn't talk to me for days. My dad said I was an embarrassment. But I sang my favorite song. That's all that mattered. At least, that day.

Jump ahead. I'm 27, and pregnant. My Bestie is throwing me and my Baby Girl a Baby Shower. I'm happy as can be. As happy as a 8 month, pregnant mommy can be. I could barely move. But I was so happy! And I opened 1 of the many gifts, that my Bestie got us. It was this book...

I cried. It's the best book ever! I've read it many, many times to my Baby Girl. We've sat and talked about it. I've told her my funny story. Played her the song. Heck, I've even sang it to her a few hundred times. :) I might only be 1/4 Hispanic. But it still matters.

I want my Baby Girl to know about our family. Our roots. I want to share with her, a little bit of our history and culture. It's such a colorful, wonderful, and fun culture. This is just the beginning. But it's such a great place to start. I'm glad we have De Colores to share. :)

Friday Fill-Ins: We're Lucky

Woo hoo! Friday! And some Friday Fill-Ins. :)

1. I need some peaceful sleep.

2. There are no other 2 people, that were as lucky as we were.

3. A great deal of love, prayers, talent, and skill are going to make my Baby Girl better.

4. That's a big tall glass.

5. It was announced that we might go home soon. (I'm very excited about that!)

6. I've never liked steak knives. (I prefer a little knife that you use for peeling.)

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to some birthday planning, tomorrow my plans include shopping for some winter clothes for us and Sunday, I want to watch some good movies!

The Lion King

I was in elementary when the Lion King came out. I loved it! My Bestie and I, went out to watch it. It was a big deal to go to the movie theater. Especially together. It didn't happen often. But when it did, it was a big deal!

At the time, Disney was coming out with big movies every few months. And while my Bestie's favorite was Beauty and the Beast, mine was the Lion King. I liked all the animals, colors, and the music! The music was the best. I still enjoy listening to the soundtrack.

When I heard that Disney was re-releasing it, I was so excited! I've always wanted to share my favorite Disney movies, with my Baby Girl. I wish that we could go to the theaters to watch it. But the second best, we're going to buy this movie. And have lots of family movie nights.

Isn't that what having kids is all about? Sharing the things that you enjoy. Teaching them, loving them, and just enjoying the simple things in life. That's the way I feel. I want to share as many positive memories with my daughter as I can. Between, this picture of Simba, that face, reminds me of my Baby Girl.

Friday Fill Ins: Spaghetti

Friday again. Yay! That means Friday Fill-Ins.

1. When I walk around my neighborhood I see lots of families, with amazing kids.

2. Spaghetti is my favorite thing to cook.

3. Life is hard, but well worth it.

4. My Baby Girl makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

5. Squash is my favorite Autumn vegetable.

6. Pizza is better when it is cold, the morning after.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to some good movies, tomorrow my plans include a long chat with my Bestie and Sunday, I want to have a fun day with my Baby Girl and Brother B!

Please Pray

"When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world." John 16:21

My Baby Girl is having a risky, but completely essential surgery tomorrow. I ask that you please keep her in your prayers. Her doctors are so talented and skilled. My daughter is so much stronger now, than ever before. But we could all use God's blessings.

I pray for my daughter every day. I pray for her recovery and health. I pray for the people who take care of her. The doctors and nurses. Everyone that is involved. We have been so blessed, this far. We have so many people surrounding us, that are helping my little girl.

Please take a few moments, just to ask God, to watch over my daughter. She could use all of your prayers. I'd appreciate every prayer. As a mom, I never feel so helpless, as in the moments leading up to her surgeries. When I have to let her go. When the nurse carries her away. Behind those doors. And every part of my body aches. My entire spirit begins to bargain with God. Please keep my precious Baby Girl in your prayers. I'm going to go spend the next few hours, cuddling my Baby Girl. Making sure that she knows, just how much I love her.

Made Me Smile

I woke up this morning, to my Big 'Ol Teddy Bear and my Sweet Baby Girl, watching The Country Mouse and the City Mouse Adventures.

I laid there watching them. As this big man, held my tiny baby girl. Telling her all about the cartoon. Making silly voices. My baby girl cooing away! Both of their eyes, sparkling. Like a kid on Christmas morning.



It really was the sweetest thing ever! I laid there for 30 minutes. Just taking it all in. Knowing, just how lucky I am. I really do wish, he would have been her biological dad. But I know, in all our hearts, he's her daddy. And that's all that matters!

Being a Mommy

"He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the LORD!" Psalm 113:9

I never knew that I'd be a mommy. Never. I sort of dreamt about it. But the reality of it is, I never thought I'd be a mom. Probably because, I had a pretty horrible childhood. One that leaves a lot to be desired. My parents divorced. I was always out casted. Nothing ever felt right. I never felt safe. Rarely felt loved.

The moment I found I was pregnant, with my first baby, I was so full of love. And joy! I knew that I'd be a mom. Full of love. I'd be that mom, that I always wanted. My husband wanted kids. I knew this was going to be a good road. We had been married 3 1/2 months. I was so excited!

If we hadn't lost our baby, I'd have a 20 month old baby! Can you imagine? In my heart, I always knew, we were having a girl. I just knew it. But life had a different plan for me. A different plan for my husband. Things were tough after that. Nothing was ever the same. We tried. I tried. But it never felt right again.

Then, I got some more glorious news. God was blessing us. I thought, this was our way, back to one another. I found out I was pregnant in February 2010. I was so excited! I was getting a second chance. Our little family, was getting a second chance.

Things didn't work out the way I had hoped. My husband and I ultimately split up. Had I been alone, not pregnant, I would have fought to keep our marriage together. I could have looked past his indiscretions. But not with a baby. I couldn't put my baby through that. My baby deserved a better life. A better beginning.

In the following months, I did everything that I could, to ensure a healthy baby. I prepared in the best way that I could. I went to the doctor, Every single week, from 6 weeks, to 42 weeks. I ate differently. I exercised. I did everything that I possibly could. My entire life, now revolved around my baby girl.

I bought a home. Had a good and stable job. I furnished our home. Took care of my dog. Got my baby's nursery ready. I researched everything that I bought. I had 3 friends go with me to birthing classes. I got a midwife. I even applied to the best day cares and schools. I was doing everything that I could, to make sure my baby would be healthy. And have every possible opportunity.

In my eyes, that's what a mother does. She takes care of her family. She nurtures her children. Protects them. Something my mom never did for me. My mom out casted me. Later, she'd stop talking to me. Blame all her failures on me. She even forbid my family, from talking to me. I wanted better for my daughter.

Most of all, I looked to God during this time. I put my trust in him. And he rewarded me. With amazing friends. Of course, my bestie. And my friend, and for a short period, he was also my boss. The one guy that I was most surprised by, was this man. Who completely took over. Making sure my baby and I were being taken care of. That our needs were being met. That we were safe, and healthy.

I look at being a mom, as being the ultimate blessing. The one thing in life, that is so precious and pure. There is not a single thing in life, that I wouldn't do for my baby. I still think of my first baby. I can never forget. And my Baby Girl, I can't ever give up on her.

Her birth was nothing that I had imagined. Or ever envisioned. We were in a horrible car accident. One day, I'll blog about the details. Tell you how it was. What I went through. The things I remember. The feelings. The things that people later would tell me. It was the day that would forever change my life.

Now, I have a perfect Baby Girl. One that has had to fight, every day of her little life. She's fought to stay alive. We've never left the hospital. Months old, we flew from one Children's Hospital, to another. All to save her life. To try and right the wrongs, done to her little body. I'm still recovery. But I'm not the priority. My Baby Girl is. She's all that matters.

I have to make all the decisions for us. I don't always have the answers. I turn to friends, and doctors. For guidance. To ensure that I'm making the best decisions. Some days are tougher than others. Some are just filled with love. And cooing baby girls.

Being a mom has forever changed my life. I will always put my daughter first. I'll always have her interests in mind, when making decisions. She'll always be my priority. The one that needs to be protected. God has entrusted me with a beautiful baby. Now it's my job, and complete life's goal, to make sure my baby is safe, happy, and healthy. That's what being a mom is. Nurturing your little one, always loving them, always being here to protect them. I LOVE being a mommy. It's the one thing in my life, that I'd never change. Ever!

How Times Have Changed

I can remember when I was younger. 6 of us lived in one apartment. Yes, 6 young, twenty somethings. That many women, in that small of space, is definitely a recipe for disaster. But we made it work.

Saturday nights were always our favorite. Even working 2 jobs, I made sure, to get Saturday nights off. So we could go and have some fun! I'd have a couple of these too.....

Most of the time, Sunday mornings, I felt like death. But me and my friends had had a good time. We'd forgotten about some of our troubles. At least for a few hours. My Saturday nights were full of loud music, Redheaded Sluts, and probably too much fun!

Nowadays, my Saturday nights are filled with my cooing baby girl. Curled up in my arms. A good movie is a total must have, with good takeout. Chinese is my favorite! A phone call from my Teddy Bear, is always a bonus! Don't forget the banana milk. :)

Yes, Saturday nights have changed. Drastically! But for me, they've completely changed for the better. I couldn't be happier. With my baby girl in my arms, my brother at my side, and this amazing man on the phone. Oh, and pass my banana milk!

Friday Fill-Ins: Proud American

It's time for Friday Fill-Ins.

1. Why do I feel so bad today.

2. For a long time, I wished he would have wanted to stay.

3. By far the most important person in my life, is my Baby Girl.

4. I'm a proud American. Yes I am!

5. But when I think about my future, I see bright things, happy times, and lots of people to love.

6. I HATED my ex for the longest time.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to snuggle time with my Baby Girl, tomorrow my plans include a phone call with my Teddy Bear and Sunday, I want to just relax and enjoy my family!