Trust in Him

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.” Psalms 28:7


I'm home. Thank God! Last Monday, I went into the hospital, for surgery on my arm and shoulder. It was postponed until Tuesday. And I've spent the last few days, recovering. I'm still in a lot of pain. But thankful that God, has pulled me through this. Late this afternoon, I came home. I'm so glad!

If you noticed, I had scheduled some posts, while I was away. My Brother helped me with Friday Fill-Ins. And well, I think it went well. I still have posts scheduled for this week. I'm hoping by Friday, I'll be feeling better. Enough to blog. Because this is painful. I'm typing with my left hand. And this little post, this far, has taken about an hour to type up!

I'm very thankful to some amazing people. My Teddy Bear. Who never left my side. Has taken care of my precious Baby Girl. Loved us to pieces. His family...they're priceless! My Brother B. For just being truly amazing! Best little brother that anyone could ask for. My Bestie, she's just great! Praying for me. Calling every day, to just check on me. This guy, who has a HUGE heart! Bestie are you listening? ;) And my amazing friend and her family. Thanks guys! So many other friends were amazing and supportive. Thank you guys. I know, that our health is improving, just because we have you! Praying for us, loving us, and supporting us. Thank you!

This is my cue, to get some rest. My precious Baby Girl is sleeping. The house is quiet. And my dog, W is nudging me to lay down. I'm going to follow W's lead. Time for me, to get some sleep! I hope you are all having a good week. :)

Our Turkey Day

First of all, I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. This Thanksgiving, had to be the best one I've ever had. No exaggerations! As a kid, holidays were always horrible. It was pathetic. For years, my grandma tried, to make the holidays special for us. But I know that it was hard for her.

My parents always fought. ALWAYS! My mom couldn't cook. There was so much tension. I used to HATE being off of school. As we got older, my mom remarried. Things got worse. My brother and I were tossed aside. I tried to do things. So my brother wouldn't realize what was going on. It was tough.

But this year, it was different. SO DIFFERENT! After spending last year, in the hospital, I was looking forward to a good day. My Teddy Bear and I, wanted to make it special. A new beginning. Start traditions for my Baby Girl. And we did!

My Teddy Bear's family came over. And honestly, did 98% of the cooking. We all sat and talked. Helped each other. I learned how to really cut an onion. We baked pies. Not the ones from the frozen food case either. Real pies!

There was music. Lots of jokes. Plenty of family time. Watching the parade. Can you believe it? I had NEVER seen the Macy's Thanksgiving parade. NEVER! We watched football. The guys went out and played football. We said prayers. Told everyone what we were thankful for. Spent 3 hours sitting at the table. Eating! 3 HOURS!!! It was so much fun! And look at this outfit.

My Baby Girl was dressed up like a turkey! She looked adorable. Was so cuddly and warm. The perfect Thanksgiving outfit.

We couldn't stop there. W got into the holiday spirit too! Like his outfit? He didn't mind it. But then again, he's pretty chill.

We played games and ate, well into the night. Friends came over. Blue Eyes stopped in, just to spoil my Baby Girl. Our day started at 5AM. And we played games, talked, and ate pumpkin pie until 2AM! It was so much more than I could have ever asked for. A day full of the people I love. The only person missing was my Bestie.

I want my Baby Girl to have memories like this. Happy memories. Days filled with love. Happiness. Making new traditions. Talking about our blessings. Eating more food in 3 hours, than we usually eat in a week!

At the end of the night, 5 things stood out.
1. My Brother B was so happy. He actually told me, "This is what it feels like, to be part of a family. It's incredible! Thanks Hills!"
2. My heart had so much love for my Baby Girl. Today, I really felt like a mommy. Making memories for my Baby Girl.
3. I'm 100% positive, I've never seen my Teddy Bear this happy. He told me, "This is just our beginning. We're going to have a 1000 more." You know what, I believe him. With all of my heart!
4. My Teddy Bear's mom and sister, pulled me aside. To thank me. For making this guy so happy. They can tell, we've become a family. :) 
5. I've never felt so much love in my life. Ever! My Bestie called. She made me cry. Just by telling me what I meant to her.

We had so many people come over. Fill our home with love. I know, that not every year is going to be like this. I know this. I've lived lots of those horrible years. But I want so much better for my daughter. Heck, for myself. And my brother. We deserve to be loved. To enjoy life. I'm telling you, this man is changing our lives. In so many ways. This year, I'm so thankful for the people in my life. For their love. And for my life.

Happy Turkey Day!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! What a beautiful holiday this is. I'm looking forward to a day full of family and friends. Don't forget the food! The last 2 Thanksgivings, haven't been too great. So I've really been looking forward to this day.

We have so much to celebrate this year! I don't even know where to begin. But I know this, God is great! He has helped My Baby Girl and I, to heal. He's brought us back my Brother B. And sent us Our Teddy Bear. And his amazing family.

Today, is going to be amazing. Just because, we're going to be surrounded by loved ones. My Teddy Bear's family is here. His mom is cooking. I'm hoping to learn something. :) We'll also be celebrating this guy's accomplishments. And playing lots of games. You should see the pile of games sitting in the living room.

Yes, it's going to be a good day. I'm so happy! I know that we're blessed. And I hope all of you, have an  amazing Thanksgiving!

Soul Mates and Love

I've never been a big believer in Love. Or soul mates. My parents had a horrible and violent relationship. They divorced when I was in elementary school. My grandparents also divorced when I was young. I just figured, love wasn't a real thing. It was something that only happened in Fairy Tales.

I dated in high school. And as a young adult. But things always seemed doomed. I put everything in, but got nothing out. I seemed to find all the wrong guys. The ones that never wanted to put anything in. Just take from you. Pieces of my soul, just kept being taken. Leaving me empty.

Then I met my ex-husband. He gave me hope. He made me believe in love. Was my prince. Showed me that life could be fun, happy, and full of love. I believed him. I believed in us. And a "Happily Ever After." I knew things weren't ALWAYS going to be perfect. So did he. We both came from these horribly broken families. Hopeless really. But we believed in each other.

We married. We dreamed. Dreamt of big things. HUGE things! A life together. Full of Love. Something that neither of us had before. We believed in each other, until we didn't. Life got HORRIBLE! Real quick. And my faith in love, vanished. COMPLETELY!!!

Then he came into my life. He'd been an acquaintance before. Someone that I'd known because of my ex-husband. And his friends. I didn't know much about him. Other than when I saw him at work. Or hanging out with this guy. I just didn't know him. But for a very long time, he always seemed like, he had something to tell me. But he didn't know what to say.

When my ex-husband and I originally decided to separate, we were doing it, to work on the problems in our marriage. I know it sounds odd. But we had a plan. It just didn't work out. He didn't want this life that we had built together. And I was on my own. Pregnant, and on my own...

But that old friend, he came knocking. Literally, knocking on my door. He had heard, that I was in a bit of trouble. Probably from this guy. And he was my shoulder to cry on. The one person, that I could totally depend on. During my entire pregnancy, this man, was right by my side. Every Monday, he'd drive over 3 hours, so we could have dinner. And just hangout. People, he even watched DWTS with me. Every week!

My ex-husband was denying me. Denying our Baby Girl. It was horrible! But I had this guy to lean on. He helped me, get my Baby Girl's nursery in order. We went to birthing classes together. With another friend. Because we needed to have a plan. Weekly, my daughter got presents. My dog enjoyed lots of treats.

Then when we had our accident, this man, flew to be at our side. When he couldn't be there, he had his mom or sister, to be there for him. Never have I had to be alone. When we realized how serious my Baby Girl's health was, he was strong enough, for both of us. He talked with my Bestie, and they found us the best care. He picked up my finances for me. I haven't had to worry about a thing!

Most of all, I haven't had to be alone. He's been at my side. He's made me believe in the impossible. My Teddy Bear has been amazing. He's been a true Daddy to my daughter. He found my Brother B. He's taken care of all of us. Made us laugh. Comforted me when I've needed it the most. Been my best friend. Loved my daughter.

And when it was time for us all to go home, he made it possible. Not only did he get us home. He took us to HIS HOME!!! Made all 3 of us, and my dog, feel right at home. He's done everything in his power, to make us comfortable. And loved.

When I first met this guy, I knew he was different. Maybe it was that sly smile. It could have been his eyes. His laugh is also so full and genuine. There's just something about him, that makes me feel at ease. Safe. Loved. Comfortable. Happy.

There are few people, that really get me. The silly blond. The one that forgets everything. Laughs at stupid jokes. Forgets the punchline to jokes. Drinks banana milk. Has "thunder thighs." Loves with everything I've got. Laughs harder than anyone you know.

Yes, even back then, I knew he was special. I just didn't realize how special he was. Now I know. I've always been a cynical about love. Soul mates? I never believed in them. Not with my whole heart. Until now. I know that I'm loved. My daughter is loved. My brother is loved. I know that this man, is such a good guy! He makes me believe in me. And without trying, he's made me believe in soul mates. Yes, he has!

She Loves Abby!

Over the last week or 2, we've noticed something so sweet! My Brother B first realized it. When my Baby Girl hears Abby Cadabby, she lights up! Her little feet kick like crazy. Her arms swing, and her hands go to grab. My Baby Girl smiles, makes all these sweet baby sounds, and tries to find Abby.

We've all enjoyed watching this. My Teddy Bear, immediately ran out and bought all sorts of DVDs with Abby. And the cutest stuffed Abby. My daughter loves all of them. Our morning routine, definitely includes lots of Sesame Street. And well, we're all enjoying this so much!



Who would have thought? But it's been so fun. Just to watch my Baby Girl get so excited. She really loves Abby. I'm glad that she's finally enjoying life. And whatever it takes, to make her happy, I'm going to do!

How Times Have Changed

I can remember when I was younger. 6 of us lived in one apartment. Yes, 6 young, twenty somethings. That many women, in that small of space, is definitely a recipe for disaster. But we made it work.

Saturday nights were always our favorite. Even working 2 jobs, I made sure, to get Saturday nights off. So we could go and have some fun! I'd have a couple of these too.....

Most of the time, Sunday mornings, I felt like death. But me and my friends had had a good time. We'd forgotten about some of our troubles. At least for a few hours. My Saturday nights were full of loud music, Redheaded Sluts, and probably too much fun!

Nowadays, my Saturday nights are filled with my cooing baby girl. Curled up in my arms. A good movie is a total must have, with good takeout. Chinese is my favorite! A phone call from my Teddy Bear, is always a bonus! Don't forget the banana milk. :)

Yes, Saturday nights have changed. Drastically! But for me, they've completely changed for the better. I couldn't be happier. With my baby girl in my arms, my brother at my side, and this amazing man on the phone. Oh, and pass my banana milk!

Dancing with the Stars

I'm a HUGE Dancing with the Stars fan! My Teddy Bear had to get used to that fact. And my Brother B, is learning to just go with the flow. Yup, for a few years now, me and this show have been BFFs! Funny? I'm not sure. But we have been BFFs.

When I was pregnant, My Teddy Bear would come over. He'd drive 3 and a half hours, to my house. Every Monday night. He'd sit on my front steps with takeout, waiting for me to get home from work. We'd eat. Laugh our butts off. Watch my favorite show. Oh, and we'd get stuff ready for my Baby Girl.

For almost the last year, we've been in hospitals. I've tried to keep at least this little thing, constant for us. Every Monday and Tuesday, we watch. I pick out my favorite, and vote like crazy! Secretly, I think these 2 men in my life, are BIG fans too! Just don't say anything. ;)

I was so disappointed in this season's lineup. I can't lie. Heck, it started a 3 hour discussion. Between the 3 of us, and our nurses. I'm still going to watch. I have absolutely no clue who to cheer on. Can I admit it? I had to google most of the names. I'm really NOT too excited for the show to start. That hurts. You know, since I'm a big fan and all. It's nothing personal, to any of the celebs, I just can't connect to any of them.....

And this is where we begin.....

Welcome! New and old friends alike. I'm Hillary. I'm a mommy. To the most precious little girl. We've spent the last 8 months in the hospital. It's a long story. But one that is shaping both my little girl and I's life.

I'm also recently divorced. Recently reunited with my little brother. And just trying to make it through this thing we call life.

One thing I know, I'd never make it without a few key people. My little brother B, he's just my greatest supporter. I'm so glad we're back in touch. There's also my friend Blue Eyes. And the most complicated relationship ever, with my Teddy Bear. But my biggest supporter is definitely Des. My best friend, biggest cheerleader, and the best Nana to my baby girl.

This is our story. About our lives. The people that love us. And all the things that happen to make this our life. I hope you stick around and enjoy!