Little Drummer Boy

Since I posted last week, about my favorite Christmas song, my Teddy Bear has been talking about Christmas music. Actually, we've been talking a lot about Christmas traditions. My parents never had many. But I want it to be different for my Baby Girl.

Anyways, my Teddy Bear wanted to share his favorite Christmas song with all of you. The Little Drummer Boy. I would have never thought. But it is a really good song. Hope you enjoy it! Merry Christmas Eve!

Trust in Him

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.” Psalms 28:7


I'm home. Thank God! Last Monday, I went into the hospital, for surgery on my arm and shoulder. It was postponed until Tuesday. And I've spent the last few days, recovering. I'm still in a lot of pain. But thankful that God, has pulled me through this. Late this afternoon, I came home. I'm so glad!

If you noticed, I had scheduled some posts, while I was away. My Brother helped me with Friday Fill-Ins. And well, I think it went well. I still have posts scheduled for this week. I'm hoping by Friday, I'll be feeling better. Enough to blog. Because this is painful. I'm typing with my left hand. And this little post, this far, has taken about an hour to type up!

I'm very thankful to some amazing people. My Teddy Bear. Who never left my side. Has taken care of my precious Baby Girl. Loved us to pieces. His family...they're priceless! My Brother B. For just being truly amazing! Best little brother that anyone could ask for. My Bestie, she's just great! Praying for me. Calling every day, to just check on me. This guy, who has a HUGE heart! Bestie are you listening? ;) And my amazing friend and her family. Thanks guys! So many other friends were amazing and supportive. Thank you guys. I know, that our health is improving, just because we have you! Praying for us, loving us, and supporting us. Thank you!

This is my cue, to get some rest. My precious Baby Girl is sleeping. The house is quiet. And my dog, W is nudging me to lay down. I'm going to follow W's lead. Time for me, to get some sleep! I hope you are all having a good week. :)

I Choose to Love You!

Pretty much sums up how I feel about my Baby Girl and my Teddy Bear. Over the last 2 years, I've come to realize what's most important in the world. Love. Family. Honesty. Respect. Faith.

Family is not always the ones we were born into. Nor the ones we marry into. But the ones we create along the way. The people that want to be in your life. For the good and the bad. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. I'd go through all that pain, hurt, and sorrow. Just to be able, to get to this good point.

It's all be well worth it! To know, I would get these 2 perfect people in my life. I do it the same. I'd choice the same. And I'd love even more!

Hey There, It's Yogi Bear!

Recently, My Teddy Bear and my Baby Girl, spend their morning watching cartoons. Old cartoons to be more specific. I love hearing their laughter. I'm usually tumbling out of bed. Looking for a slipper. Trying to get my eyes open. Wondering if the sun is really up. I'm not a morning person!

Then I look into the living room, and I find my 2 loves, snuggled up. Watching cartoons. Laughing. Enjoying some silly storyline. And my heart feels like it's going to burst, with love!

Lately, the favorite at 5AM, seems to Yogi Bear. Do you remember Yogi? I remember watching Yogi with my Bestie! Early morning TV. Whenever we had sleepovers. So glad my Baby Girl gets to enjoy it too!

Our Turkey Day

First of all, I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. This Thanksgiving, had to be the best one I've ever had. No exaggerations! As a kid, holidays were always horrible. It was pathetic. For years, my grandma tried, to make the holidays special for us. But I know that it was hard for her.

My parents always fought. ALWAYS! My mom couldn't cook. There was so much tension. I used to HATE being off of school. As we got older, my mom remarried. Things got worse. My brother and I were tossed aside. I tried to do things. So my brother wouldn't realize what was going on. It was tough.

But this year, it was different. SO DIFFERENT! After spending last year, in the hospital, I was looking forward to a good day. My Teddy Bear and I, wanted to make it special. A new beginning. Start traditions for my Baby Girl. And we did!

My Teddy Bear's family came over. And honestly, did 98% of the cooking. We all sat and talked. Helped each other. I learned how to really cut an onion. We baked pies. Not the ones from the frozen food case either. Real pies!

There was music. Lots of jokes. Plenty of family time. Watching the parade. Can you believe it? I had NEVER seen the Macy's Thanksgiving parade. NEVER! We watched football. The guys went out and played football. We said prayers. Told everyone what we were thankful for. Spent 3 hours sitting at the table. Eating! 3 HOURS!!! It was so much fun! And look at this outfit.

My Baby Girl was dressed up like a turkey! She looked adorable. Was so cuddly and warm. The perfect Thanksgiving outfit.

We couldn't stop there. W got into the holiday spirit too! Like his outfit? He didn't mind it. But then again, he's pretty chill.

We played games and ate, well into the night. Friends came over. Blue Eyes stopped in, just to spoil my Baby Girl. Our day started at 5AM. And we played games, talked, and ate pumpkin pie until 2AM! It was so much more than I could have ever asked for. A day full of the people I love. The only person missing was my Bestie.

I want my Baby Girl to have memories like this. Happy memories. Days filled with love. Happiness. Making new traditions. Talking about our blessings. Eating more food in 3 hours, than we usually eat in a week!

At the end of the night, 5 things stood out.
1. My Brother B was so happy. He actually told me, "This is what it feels like, to be part of a family. It's incredible! Thanks Hills!"
2. My heart had so much love for my Baby Girl. Today, I really felt like a mommy. Making memories for my Baby Girl.
3. I'm 100% positive, I've never seen my Teddy Bear this happy. He told me, "This is just our beginning. We're going to have a 1000 more." You know what, I believe him. With all of my heart!
4. My Teddy Bear's mom and sister, pulled me aside. To thank me. For making this guy so happy. They can tell, we've become a family. :) 
5. I've never felt so much love in my life. Ever! My Bestie called. She made me cry. Just by telling me what I meant to her.

We had so many people come over. Fill our home with love. I know, that not every year is going to be like this. I know this. I've lived lots of those horrible years. But I want so much better for my daughter. Heck, for myself. And my brother. We deserve to be loved. To enjoy life. I'm telling you, this man is changing our lives. In so many ways. This year, I'm so thankful for the people in my life. For their love. And for my life.

Happy Turkey Day!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! What a beautiful holiday this is. I'm looking forward to a day full of family and friends. Don't forget the food! The last 2 Thanksgivings, haven't been too great. So I've really been looking forward to this day.

We have so much to celebrate this year! I don't even know where to begin. But I know this, God is great! He has helped My Baby Girl and I, to heal. He's brought us back my Brother B. And sent us Our Teddy Bear. And his amazing family.

Today, is going to be amazing. Just because, we're going to be surrounded by loved ones. My Teddy Bear's family is here. His mom is cooking. I'm hoping to learn something. :) We'll also be celebrating this guy's accomplishments. And playing lots of games. You should see the pile of games sitting in the living room.

Yes, it's going to be a good day. I'm so happy! I know that we're blessed. And I hope all of you, have an  amazing Thanksgiving!

Soul Mates and Love

I've never been a big believer in Love. Or soul mates. My parents had a horrible and violent relationship. They divorced when I was in elementary school. My grandparents also divorced when I was young. I just figured, love wasn't a real thing. It was something that only happened in Fairy Tales.

I dated in high school. And as a young adult. But things always seemed doomed. I put everything in, but got nothing out. I seemed to find all the wrong guys. The ones that never wanted to put anything in. Just take from you. Pieces of my soul, just kept being taken. Leaving me empty.

Then I met my ex-husband. He gave me hope. He made me believe in love. Was my prince. Showed me that life could be fun, happy, and full of love. I believed him. I believed in us. And a "Happily Ever After." I knew things weren't ALWAYS going to be perfect. So did he. We both came from these horribly broken families. Hopeless really. But we believed in each other.

We married. We dreamed. Dreamt of big things. HUGE things! A life together. Full of Love. Something that neither of us had before. We believed in each other, until we didn't. Life got HORRIBLE! Real quick. And my faith in love, vanished. COMPLETELY!!!

Then he came into my life. He'd been an acquaintance before. Someone that I'd known because of my ex-husband. And his friends. I didn't know much about him. Other than when I saw him at work. Or hanging out with this guy. I just didn't know him. But for a very long time, he always seemed like, he had something to tell me. But he didn't know what to say.

When my ex-husband and I originally decided to separate, we were doing it, to work on the problems in our marriage. I know it sounds odd. But we had a plan. It just didn't work out. He didn't want this life that we had built together. And I was on my own. Pregnant, and on my own...

But that old friend, he came knocking. Literally, knocking on my door. He had heard, that I was in a bit of trouble. Probably from this guy. And he was my shoulder to cry on. The one person, that I could totally depend on. During my entire pregnancy, this man, was right by my side. Every Monday, he'd drive over 3 hours, so we could have dinner. And just hangout. People, he even watched DWTS with me. Every week!

My ex-husband was denying me. Denying our Baby Girl. It was horrible! But I had this guy to lean on. He helped me, get my Baby Girl's nursery in order. We went to birthing classes together. With another friend. Because we needed to have a plan. Weekly, my daughter got presents. My dog enjoyed lots of treats.

Then when we had our accident, this man, flew to be at our side. When he couldn't be there, he had his mom or sister, to be there for him. Never have I had to be alone. When we realized how serious my Baby Girl's health was, he was strong enough, for both of us. He talked with my Bestie, and they found us the best care. He picked up my finances for me. I haven't had to worry about a thing!

Most of all, I haven't had to be alone. He's been at my side. He's made me believe in the impossible. My Teddy Bear has been amazing. He's been a true Daddy to my daughter. He found my Brother B. He's taken care of all of us. Made us laugh. Comforted me when I've needed it the most. Been my best friend. Loved my daughter.

And when it was time for us all to go home, he made it possible. Not only did he get us home. He took us to HIS HOME!!! Made all 3 of us, and my dog, feel right at home. He's done everything in his power, to make us comfortable. And loved.

When I first met this guy, I knew he was different. Maybe it was that sly smile. It could have been his eyes. His laugh is also so full and genuine. There's just something about him, that makes me feel at ease. Safe. Loved. Comfortable. Happy.

There are few people, that really get me. The silly blond. The one that forgets everything. Laughs at stupid jokes. Forgets the punchline to jokes. Drinks banana milk. Has "thunder thighs." Loves with everything I've got. Laughs harder than anyone you know.

Yes, even back then, I knew he was special. I just didn't realize how special he was. Now I know. I've always been a cynical about love. Soul mates? I never believed in them. Not with my whole heart. Until now. I know that I'm loved. My daughter is loved. My brother is loved. I know that this man, is such a good guy! He makes me believe in me. And without trying, he's made me believe in soul mates. Yes, he has!

Romeo and Juliet

Do you remember the movie, "Romeo and Juliet?" I think I was in middle school when it came out. And I wasn't allowed to watch it. But when I got into high school, I watched it. I was hanging out with some friends. And we decided to watch it.

Every since, I've really liked this movie. I bought the soundtrack. But could never find the movie. The other night, it came out on TV. And I convinced this guy to watch it with me. He'd never seen it. Now it's one of our favorites!

Halloween Fun

It's that time of year. Halloween! I'm so excited. It's the first, "real" Halloween, for my Baby Girl. Last year, neither one of us, was in any sort of shape, to celebrate. We had costumes, but they were the last things I thought of.

This year, is very different. Our big 'ol Teddy Bear, went out and bought a few costumes for my Baby Girl. Now we're having a tough time, deciding what to dress my Baby Girl as.

How about a Cupcake? That little icing hat is just too cute! How about the little skirt? So adorable! I wonder who comes up with these ideas.....

Maybe a Princess. Cinderella is always a favorite! This would be absolutely precious. Every little girl's dream. Right?

How about something more traditional? A witch. This costume is absolutely adorable! I love all the little details.

This cute ladybug just makes me smile! The fabric is so fun! I just want to pet this costume. And a ladybug. Honestly. This is going to have to be the theme to my Baby Girl's 2nd birthday. :)

A butterfly. Can it get any cuter? Everything about this costume makes me smile. The wings, the little feet, and the antennas!

This Lovebug just makes my heart melt! And it's super soft. I just love all the little hearts. This is definitely one of my favorites.

Another one of my favorites. Love this flower! The little ruffles are precious! So is that little bee. And this costume looks to be pretty comfy. The head part, well it will fit over my Baby Girl's helmet. Always a good thing. :)

And a cute chickie! With eggshells. My Brother B just loves this costume. I think it has something to do with those silly chicken legs and eggshells. :)

This furry little lamb is just adorable. The fabrics are so fun. Have I mentioned, I'm loving this little lamb! There's just something about this costume.

Or how about a cute bunny? So cuddly and fun. The little face is almost too cute for words. And those big feet, oh it just makes me smile!

Maybe a precious Teddy Bear. The nurses are loving this one. There's something about the tie and the little blanket.

My Teddy Bear's favorite. A little Monkey. That's what he calls my Baby Girl, his "Little Monkey." He's really passionate, that this should be my Baby Girl's costume.

Then we come to the costumes we bought last year. My Teddy Bear bought this adorable Care Bear. Isn't it the cutest? "His Little Sunshine Bear." Another cute nickname, that he calls my Baby Girl.

How about this adorable Glow Worm? My personal favorite. I bought it last August. It's always been my favorite. The costume that I had envisioned, my then 3 week old, Baby Girl wearing. And, this year, my Baby Girl will wear this cute costume. It's warm and comfy. Cute and colorful. And will fit over all her hospital monitors, and helmet.

And all but the last 3 costumes, we're donating, to other kids in the hospital. I feel really passionate about that. My Teddy Bear can afford to spend money like this. I can't. And I know what it's like, to have to save your pennies. I know that these parents already sacrifice so much! So much time, and money. The last thing they need to worry about, is coming up with money, for a Halloween costume.

I just want to help them, in anyway that I can. This year, we're able to make a few kids happy. I know that my Baby Girl and I are happy, and well taken care of. I just want more of these families, to feel the same. It may just be a Halloween costume. But I know, when you are in this position, every little bit helps. And the bottom line is, we want the kids to be happy and healthy. We're all doing our part, to make that happen.

She Loves Abby!

Over the last week or 2, we've noticed something so sweet! My Brother B first realized it. When my Baby Girl hears Abby Cadabby, she lights up! Her little feet kick like crazy. Her arms swing, and her hands go to grab. My Baby Girl smiles, makes all these sweet baby sounds, and tries to find Abby.

We've all enjoyed watching this. My Teddy Bear, immediately ran out and bought all sorts of DVDs with Abby. And the cutest stuffed Abby. My daughter loves all of them. Our morning routine, definitely includes lots of Sesame Street. And well, we're all enjoying this so much!



Who would have thought? But it's been so fun. Just to watch my Baby Girl get so excited. She really loves Abby. I'm glad that she's finally enjoying life. And whatever it takes, to make her happy, I'm going to do!

Sweet November

I'd never seen this movie. But my Teddy Bear brought it with him, the other day. He thought I'd love it. And I did! I really enjoyed this movie. Even though, I cried like a baby, at the end. The end is super sad. But the movie, it's such a good movie.

If you're anything like me, you like to curl up with a good movie, on a weekend night. This is perfect! I'm kind of curious now. I wonder if there is a book. I think it would be so good! You know, the books are always so much better. But the movie really is amazing!

Made Me Smile

I woke up this morning, to my Big 'Ol Teddy Bear and my Sweet Baby Girl, watching The Country Mouse and the City Mouse Adventures.

I laid there watching them. As this big man, held my tiny baby girl. Telling her all about the cartoon. Making silly voices. My baby girl cooing away! Both of their eyes, sparkling. Like a kid on Christmas morning.



It really was the sweetest thing ever! I laid there for 30 minutes. Just taking it all in. Knowing, just how lucky I am. I really do wish, he would have been her biological dad. But I know, in all our hearts, he's her daddy. And that's all that matters!

How Times Have Changed

I can remember when I was younger. 6 of us lived in one apartment. Yes, 6 young, twenty somethings. That many women, in that small of space, is definitely a recipe for disaster. But we made it work.

Saturday nights were always our favorite. Even working 2 jobs, I made sure, to get Saturday nights off. So we could go and have some fun! I'd have a couple of these too.....

Most of the time, Sunday mornings, I felt like death. But me and my friends had had a good time. We'd forgotten about some of our troubles. At least for a few hours. My Saturday nights were full of loud music, Redheaded Sluts, and probably too much fun!

Nowadays, my Saturday nights are filled with my cooing baby girl. Curled up in my arms. A good movie is a total must have, with good takeout. Chinese is my favorite! A phone call from my Teddy Bear, is always a bonus! Don't forget the banana milk. :)

Yes, Saturday nights have changed. Drastically! But for me, they've completely changed for the better. I couldn't be happier. With my baby girl in my arms, my brother at my side, and this amazing man on the phone. Oh, and pass my banana milk!

Dancing with the Stars

I'm a HUGE Dancing with the Stars fan! My Teddy Bear had to get used to that fact. And my Brother B, is learning to just go with the flow. Yup, for a few years now, me and this show have been BFFs! Funny? I'm not sure. But we have been BFFs.

When I was pregnant, My Teddy Bear would come over. He'd drive 3 and a half hours, to my house. Every Monday night. He'd sit on my front steps with takeout, waiting for me to get home from work. We'd eat. Laugh our butts off. Watch my favorite show. Oh, and we'd get stuff ready for my Baby Girl.

For almost the last year, we've been in hospitals. I've tried to keep at least this little thing, constant for us. Every Monday and Tuesday, we watch. I pick out my favorite, and vote like crazy! Secretly, I think these 2 men in my life, are BIG fans too! Just don't say anything. ;)

I was so disappointed in this season's lineup. I can't lie. Heck, it started a 3 hour discussion. Between the 3 of us, and our nurses. I'm still going to watch. I have absolutely no clue who to cheer on. Can I admit it? I had to google most of the names. I'm really NOT too excited for the show to start. That hurts. You know, since I'm a big fan and all. It's nothing personal, to any of the celebs, I just can't connect to any of them.....

Brown Bear, Brown Bear

Do you have a favorite children's book? I'm a big fan of the Matilda books. Actually, I considered naming my baby girl Matilda. Yes, that's how much I like these books. The first few days, after I found out I was pregnant, I went out and bought a bunch of books. All the books I remembered as a kid.

Funny thing is, I never picked up Brown Bear. I don't know why. It just never crossed my mind. It should have. We read it all the time, in kindergarten. All the time! This was actually the very first present, that my Baby Girl, got from my Teddy Bear.

Every time my Teddy Bear came to visit, he'd read this book to my belly. Every time! Sometimes twice. Then when she was born, he bought another copy. And he reads it every day to her. If there is a day when he can't come to visit, he reads to her over the phone. It's the cutest! Turns out, this is his favorite children's book. I'm so happy that he's sharing it with my Baby Girl. :)

The Ex

I'm not even sure where I should begin. But at some point, HE is going to come up. There should be some background info.....

When I met my now ex-husband, I was actually going to be meeting my bestie. She was performing at this guy's new club. My life would forever change, because of this night. I would meet the man, that would eventually steal my heart away.

My friends and I had a little too much fun. But my bestie made sure we got back to the hotel safely. All I can really remember about meeting my ex, was he was drunk. When I first bumped into him, he was drunk. And drinking to get even drunker. Looked like he had some things on his mind. Almost like he had to drink, to just deal with life. He politely, half drunkenly, said hi. Paid for a round of drinks for my friends and I.

There was a mechanical bull involved. My friends were all about that bull. My bestie was backstage, getting ready to perform. I was having a few too many Redheaded Sluts. That lead to the bull. And eventually, drunkenly talking to my now ex.

We never exchanged info. We were both not in the right place for that. To begin with, we were drunk. Oh, and we were both newly out of some serious relationships. Recipe for disaster. Until that day. This gal, would call me up. Ask me that question. And life as I knew it, would all become a memory.

Before I knew it, we were talking on the phone day and night. Then I began to travel with him. Most of the week, he was on the road. For work. One day, we agreed. It would all be better for us, if I moved. And I did. I went to my apartment, explained to my friends, and packed a few boxes. That would be the last time, I ever went to that apartment. I moved 3 hours away.

The first few months were fun. A complete blur. At times, overwhelming. I went from working 2 jobs, living with 5 other women, and barely making it. To traveling on a private plane, traveling across the country, and completely falling in love!

By December, my mom wanted nothing to do with me. I was banned from talking to any of my family. Honestly, my relationship with my mom was already on the rocks. But the fact that I had met a good man, with a good job, who wanted to be with me. Who loved me. That sent my mom overboard.

It saddened my heart. I missed my brother. I missed my grandma. There was not much for me to do. But I had this man. Who loved me. Ya, me. With the far from perfect body, weird sense of humor, can't cook if my life depended on it, no sense of style, or grace. He loved me.

We were engaged on my birthday. 6 months after meeting. 5 months after we began dating. It was unexpected. Neither of us were close to our families. Friends mean the absolute world to both of us. Oh, and that crazy schedule, was just about to get crazy again. In the middle of moving to a house, that my ex was having built for us, we planned a wedding. A month after our engagement, we got married. With our closest friends. In Las Vegas.

It was a blessing. We were in love. Making a family of our own. My ex's career was on an upswing. I was happy. Heck, I was getting to see my bestie, way more often! It was good. I was even managing our house pretty well. OK,  we had help. But I was learning how to cook. That was something!

In June 2009 tragedy struck. It was unexpected. Heart breaking. Almost to the point, where I couldn't move forward. In the end, my fairy tale ended. My ex and I split. I returned to work that fall. Working for our good friend. Which meant, I'd see my ex, at least half of the week.

We tried to work it out. Much later, I'd find out, I was the only one trying to make it work out. We went to counseling. We went on dates. But we lived apart. In different towns. I was completely engrossed in work. Just so I didn't have to think about my failing marriage. I spent as much time as I could, working. Once a week, we'd go to a joint marriage counselor. Once a week, I'd go to a grief counselor. And that one glorious day a week, my ex and I, would meet for a date.

As the work season was slowing down, the holidays were coming. I was getting depressed. Our friends all had HUGE plans. I still wasn't in contact with my family. I wasn't sure about my ex. We found ourselves celebrating Christmas together. Later, I would come to find out, he regretted that. While I thought we were making progress on our troubles, he was just there for a good time.

In February, I realized my life was forever changing. This time, I was 100% certain, I would make it work. I'd do whatever I had to, to ensure my baby was safe. It was a shock! Almost gave me a heart attack. 20 pregnancy tests later, I finally believed what I was seeing.

Thinking that our marriage was still savable, I wanted to tell my then hubby. In person. He was 500 miles away working. I waited. And waited. I even went to work, seeing him. But never getting a second alone with him. In March, I finally tracked him down.Went to our old house. The one we had shared. Had filled with love. And all those wedding presents. Only to have my world, coming crashing down around me.

I found him, painting a room. The perfect shade of baby pink. As I was trying to give him our happy news, I could see it all over his face. I knew, in that instant, we were over. Our dreams of a happy life, were over. I was on my own. I would be a single mom.

After hours of fighting, crying, and absolute silence, I left. Our dog, the one HE had cherished so, followed me. He would not stay behind. We had shared custody of this dog. The dog that in the beginning, I had hated! Now, he was my pal. The only living, breathing creature, I had to turn to.

I filed divorce papers. Papers that my ex fought. I never wanted anything. But he wouldn't divorce me. I asked my then boss, if I could be taken off of the traveling crew. And I began to work more normal hours. Soon, I was looking for a new home, a new job, a new beginning. I quickly found it.

Hilariously, it was just a few minutes from my mom's home. 3 hours from the home, I had built with my ex. My job, was a good one. That allowed me to provide for my daughter and I. It was a high risk pregnancy. One that found me at the doctor weekly. But still allowed me to work. My friends helped me move. My Teddy Bear became a regular in my life. Helping me. Doing things for my daughter, that her father should have been doing.

My friends were behind me. Helping me. Supporting me, with all their amazing and encouraging words. I worked. I got my home ready. My dog and I, we counted down the days. In September, my bestie, would visit. Throwing me 2 baby showers. I was just excited to spend time with her. By the time she left, I was ready. My baby girl's nursery was complete. She also had one at her Godfather's house. Thanks to her wonderful Godparents.

I began counting down. Less than a month. My ex and I were still fighting. The judge would delay our divorce until after our baby's birth. When my ex also decided, to give up parental rights. Papers were drawn. I just wanted to meet my baby girl.

Unfortunately, the birth I had envisioned, didn't happen. We almost died. On our way to the hospital.The day that would forever change my life. My friends were amazing. My baby girl was born on her Godfather's birthday. He, My Teddy Bear, and my ex, were all on the west coast. My bestie was at home. Preparing for a trip out here to work. Before I knew it, everyone was surrounding us. Friends of friends, spent time with us. My bestie, lived next to my baby girl's crib. During the first few days, of my daughter's life, I never got to see her. But I knew she was surrounded by love.

My ex would try, and be defeated, at trying to remove life support for my daughter and I. Our divorce would be granted, his parental rights would be given up. All of a sudden, I felt anger towards him. Why did he have a perfect, and healthy baby girl? With his ex. While our baby girl was fighting for her life. It was tough. It was hard sitting next to my daughter, with tubes coming out of her head. Which was in a baby helmet. While I was in casts. Both of us in pain, highly medicated. While he was happily posting pictures, of my daughter's half sister.

It's been tough. The last 10 months have tested me. My faith. My beliefs. The parent that I've become. The human that I am. But I don't regret our relationship. I could never regret it. Because had we never been in love, I'd never have gotten the greatest gift from God. And let me tell you, my daughter, is worth every hardship I've had to go through.

And this is where we begin.....

Welcome! New and old friends alike. I'm Hillary. I'm a mommy. To the most precious little girl. We've spent the last 8 months in the hospital. It's a long story. But one that is shaping both my little girl and I's life.

I'm also recently divorced. Recently reunited with my little brother. And just trying to make it through this thing we call life.

One thing I know, I'd never make it without a few key people. My little brother B, he's just my greatest supporter. I'm so glad we're back in touch. There's also my friend Blue Eyes. And the most complicated relationship ever, with my Teddy Bear. But my biggest supporter is definitely Des. My best friend, biggest cheerleader, and the best Nana to my baby girl.

This is our story. About our lives. The people that love us. And all the things that happen to make this our life. I hope you stick around and enjoy!