Trust in Him

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.” Psalms 28:7


I'm home. Thank God! Last Monday, I went into the hospital, for surgery on my arm and shoulder. It was postponed until Tuesday. And I've spent the last few days, recovering. I'm still in a lot of pain. But thankful that God, has pulled me through this. Late this afternoon, I came home. I'm so glad!

If you noticed, I had scheduled some posts, while I was away. My Brother helped me with Friday Fill-Ins. And well, I think it went well. I still have posts scheduled for this week. I'm hoping by Friday, I'll be feeling better. Enough to blog. Because this is painful. I'm typing with my left hand. And this little post, this far, has taken about an hour to type up!

I'm very thankful to some amazing people. My Teddy Bear. Who never left my side. Has taken care of my precious Baby Girl. Loved us to pieces. His family...they're priceless! My Brother B. For just being truly amazing! Best little brother that anyone could ask for. My Bestie, she's just great! Praying for me. Calling every day, to just check on me. This guy, who has a HUGE heart! Bestie are you listening? ;) And my amazing friend and her family. Thanks guys! So many other friends were amazing and supportive. Thank you guys. I know, that our health is improving, just because we have you! Praying for us, loving us, and supporting us. Thank you!

This is my cue, to get some rest. My precious Baby Girl is sleeping. The house is quiet. And my dog, W is nudging me to lay down. I'm going to follow W's lead. Time for me, to get some sleep! I hope you are all having a good week. :)

Please Pray

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21

Today, I'm going in for surgery. On my right shoulder and arm. Something that was supposed to happen, nearly a year ago. At the time, I didn't want to leave my Baby Girl. So I've dealt with the pain. So much pain!

This morning, I hope the doctors are able to repair everything. One shot. I don't want to be under the weather long. My Baby Girl needs me. I'm trying to be strong. But I am scared. Please, say an extra prayer for me today. I could definitely use it.

Please Pray

"When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world." John 16:21

My Baby Girl is having a risky, but completely essential surgery tomorrow. I ask that you please keep her in your prayers. Her doctors are so talented and skilled. My daughter is so much stronger now, than ever before. But we could all use God's blessings.

I pray for my daughter every day. I pray for her recovery and health. I pray for the people who take care of her. The doctors and nurses. Everyone that is involved. We have been so blessed, this far. We have so many people surrounding us, that are helping my little girl.

Please take a few moments, just to ask God, to watch over my daughter. She could use all of your prayers. I'd appreciate every prayer. As a mom, I never feel so helpless, as in the moments leading up to her surgeries. When I have to let her go. When the nurse carries her away. Behind those doors. And every part of my body aches. My entire spirit begins to bargain with God. Please keep my precious Baby Girl in your prayers. I'm going to go spend the next few hours, cuddling my Baby Girl. Making sure that she knows, just how much I love her.

Being a Mommy

"He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the LORD!" Psalm 113:9

I never knew that I'd be a mommy. Never. I sort of dreamt about it. But the reality of it is, I never thought I'd be a mom. Probably because, I had a pretty horrible childhood. One that leaves a lot to be desired. My parents divorced. I was always out casted. Nothing ever felt right. I never felt safe. Rarely felt loved.

The moment I found I was pregnant, with my first baby, I was so full of love. And joy! I knew that I'd be a mom. Full of love. I'd be that mom, that I always wanted. My husband wanted kids. I knew this was going to be a good road. We had been married 3 1/2 months. I was so excited!

If we hadn't lost our baby, I'd have a 20 month old baby! Can you imagine? In my heart, I always knew, we were having a girl. I just knew it. But life had a different plan for me. A different plan for my husband. Things were tough after that. Nothing was ever the same. We tried. I tried. But it never felt right again.

Then, I got some more glorious news. God was blessing us. I thought, this was our way, back to one another. I found out I was pregnant in February 2010. I was so excited! I was getting a second chance. Our little family, was getting a second chance.

Things didn't work out the way I had hoped. My husband and I ultimately split up. Had I been alone, not pregnant, I would have fought to keep our marriage together. I could have looked past his indiscretions. But not with a baby. I couldn't put my baby through that. My baby deserved a better life. A better beginning.

In the following months, I did everything that I could, to ensure a healthy baby. I prepared in the best way that I could. I went to the doctor, Every single week, from 6 weeks, to 42 weeks. I ate differently. I exercised. I did everything that I possibly could. My entire life, now revolved around my baby girl.

I bought a home. Had a good and stable job. I furnished our home. Took care of my dog. Got my baby's nursery ready. I researched everything that I bought. I had 3 friends go with me to birthing classes. I got a midwife. I even applied to the best day cares and schools. I was doing everything that I could, to make sure my baby would be healthy. And have every possible opportunity.

In my eyes, that's what a mother does. She takes care of her family. She nurtures her children. Protects them. Something my mom never did for me. My mom out casted me. Later, she'd stop talking to me. Blame all her failures on me. She even forbid my family, from talking to me. I wanted better for my daughter.

Most of all, I looked to God during this time. I put my trust in him. And he rewarded me. With amazing friends. Of course, my bestie. And my friend, and for a short period, he was also my boss. The one guy that I was most surprised by, was this man. Who completely took over. Making sure my baby and I were being taken care of. That our needs were being met. That we were safe, and healthy.

I look at being a mom, as being the ultimate blessing. The one thing in life, that is so precious and pure. There is not a single thing in life, that I wouldn't do for my baby. I still think of my first baby. I can never forget. And my Baby Girl, I can't ever give up on her.

Her birth was nothing that I had imagined. Or ever envisioned. We were in a horrible car accident. One day, I'll blog about the details. Tell you how it was. What I went through. The things I remember. The feelings. The things that people later would tell me. It was the day that would forever change my life.

Now, I have a perfect Baby Girl. One that has had to fight, every day of her little life. She's fought to stay alive. We've never left the hospital. Months old, we flew from one Children's Hospital, to another. All to save her life. To try and right the wrongs, done to her little body. I'm still recovery. But I'm not the priority. My Baby Girl is. She's all that matters.

I have to make all the decisions for us. I don't always have the answers. I turn to friends, and doctors. For guidance. To ensure that I'm making the best decisions. Some days are tougher than others. Some are just filled with love. And cooing baby girls.

Being a mom has forever changed my life. I will always put my daughter first. I'll always have her interests in mind, when making decisions. She'll always be my priority. The one that needs to be protected. God has entrusted me with a beautiful baby. Now it's my job, and complete life's goal, to make sure my baby is safe, happy, and healthy. That's what being a mom is. Nurturing your little one, always loving them, always being here to protect them. I LOVE being a mommy. It's the one thing in my life, that I'd never change. Ever!

Never Forget

Never Forget. September 11, 2001. I'll never forget. Never. I'll work hard, to make sure that those memories live long. To allow for things to move forward. But never be forgotten. I can remember exactly what I was doing that day. But that, I'll save for another post. This post, is to honor the fallen, and honor the heroes. What a day! I'll Never Forget.