4 Weeks

In just 4 weeks, I'll have a one year old baby girl. I'm so excited! 11 months ago, I never thought that would be a reality. I prayed that it would turn out well. But deep in my heart, I was scared. Really scared. That we wouldn't make it here. It's been a tough 11 months. But I'm so grateful to God, because he's made this all possible.

It's crazy, a year ago, I thought I had my entire life planned out. I knew what I was doing. I had applied to the best of day cares, and schools. I was working. And I had everything ready. To bring home my baby girl. I had her nursery perfect. It was ready for her. A year ago, we were having Baby Showers. Celebrating my baby. I was so excited.

The last 11 months, they've tested me in ways, that I never knew about. I never realized that I was this strong. Or could get through such difficult stuff. It's amazing. God makes so many things possible. I'm so glad that I found my way back to him. Before all this happened. Without God, I don't think I could have made it. I wouldn't have been strong enough.

There are things that I miss about that time. Before my world was completely rocked. I miss home. Like nobody's business. I miss my bed. Seeing my Baby Girl's nursery. I miss it all! Even burning my dinner, because I was trying a new recipe, and got sidetracked. Yes, I miss that life.

I miss feeling in control. Of semi-knowing what was going to happen next. Now, I'm lost. I have to give all of my faith to God, and all of these doctors. But it's worth it. To have my precious baby girl. There are definitely times when I feel alone, and weak. But then, God answers my prayers.

In 4 weeks, my daughter will turn 1. It will be a year since our horrible accident. One year since I my life forever changed. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. Or what is right. All I know is, that day changed my life. As hard as this year has been, it's all been worth it. Every time I look at my baby girl, or hold her, I know that it's all worth it!

Yes, in 4 weeks, I'll celebrate something amazing. But I'll also remember the toughest day of my life. The toughest part of my life. I've lost so much. But I have this amazing little girl. That I get to love and nurture. She is worth every hardship I've had to endure. In 4 weeks, I'll be celebrating my little girl. And just how far we've come.